Hello again me

Following my last post, I have been able to leave all my (still hyper and emotional) kiddies for 24 YES 24 hrs to head off for some much needed time with my girlfriends.

I jump in the car with my shoulders up nr my ears somewhere… teeth clench and feeling moderately hungover from lasts nights post Ted tantrum induced wine binge. At traffic lights I look at my reflection and actually burst into tears at what I see. Who is this imposter who looks a little like Claire but older, tireder and generally just a bit weathered? I call my mum. That helped. She thinks I’m beautiful, tired and simply overwhelmed. Helped MASSIVELY.

Arrived in sunny Falmouth alone, no kids, no husband and a little anxious. I’m still feeling incredibly guilty about not being able to cope well with Teds catastrophic meltdown last night. But as I get out of the car and feel the hot August sun on my face I actually feel my shoulders drop a notch. I bloody love Cornwall, the sea, the sky the simple pleasures. I shed a little tear (a happy one – Zeez I hope I’m due on or something!) and find my oldest girlfriends at the beach bar. Their warm smiles and unconditional love is visible only for our private little group. I love these ladies. They look a little tired too. We all have left families, work, stress and prioritised some time out.

2 hrs later we are at sea – quite literally. We all have paddle boards. I feel like freaking Moana. Not only am I totally on my own in this very second, I’m doing something new, no is asking me to wipe their bottom, my shoulder are now back to where they anatomically they should be. In fact, they are glistening in the sun.

When we get back to shore to have a glass of vino I dash to the toilet. HURRAY I have my period. I’m not premenopausal and unable to cope with life. I look up at my reflection. OMFG it’s me. My skin is glowing, my eyes are bright and happy. I am pretty. But this time I don’t cry. I smile. ‘Hello Claire, knew you were in there somewhere’

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